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An Atheist Told Me That When He Dies, He Will Become Fertilizer To A Tree. Do You Know What I Told Him?

I him I wish they cut down that , and make the wood into paper. And then print the Bible on the paper.
Why atheists always trying to convert me? Why can’t they just leave me along. I respect their beliefs! Why can’t they respect mine?!

30 Comments

  • Jul 31st 201019:07
    by zaatheis

    Wow! You are so clever. I cannot tell you how impressed I am with your knowledge and keen sense of humor.
    Pal, you die and you become fertilizer. No heaven, no hell no after life. Finito.

  • Jul 31st 201020:07
    by Mental

    Hopefully they will make a rolling paper with that tree and I can smoke it.

  • Jul 31st 201020:07
    by Nomad

    umm how is that trying to convert you? and how is that any disrespect to your beliefs? its merely a statement of his own

  • Jul 31st 201020:07
    by pugjw989

    His body WILL become fertiliser…
    Just like everybody who dies…
    (Ecclesiastes 3:19) For there is an eventuality as respects the sons of mankind and an eventuality as respects the beast, and they have the same eventuality. As the one dies, so the other dies; and they all have but one spirit, so that there is no superiority of the man over the beast, for everything is vanity.

  • Jul 31st 201020:07
    by Daniel

    You would have probably offended the Atheist less if the tree was used to make toilet paper.

  • Jul 31st 201021:07
    by Kyle S

    ooh, the free thinker torched your a$$ man. haha, christians, they can never come up with anything original, even their beliefs were collected from other religions
    just a religion full of plagiarists, aren’t you?

  • Jul 31st 201021:07
    by The Big O Bob

    Didn’t Dane Cook use that in a stand-up routine a while back??
    Thought so.

  • Jul 31st 201021:07
    by Patrick D

    Atheists try to convert Christians more than vice versa. Atheists get very angry and cannot accept Christians’ beliefs when all Christians are trying to do is practice their PEACEFUL religion. This atheist girl in my class told my Christian friend Jesus doesn’t exist and the kid’s like, “yah he does” and she starts yelling all over the class room!!! Who’s trying to convert who here?
    Fundamentalist atheists piss me off.

  • Jul 31st 201021:07
    by jalady

    Try not to take them so seriously.
    You believe in your faith so they cannot convert them.
    Good answer you gave him

  • Jul 31st 201021:07
    by scifiguy

    You can either respect people or respect their beliefs. Not both.
    Many beliefs people hold are significantly harmful to them. Sometimes they are even fatal.
    If you don’t believe me and need some examples, just review the history of any religion.
    I respect people, which is why I don’t respect their beliefs.

  • Jul 31st 201022:07
    by Dreamstuff Entity

    No, an atheist did not tell you that. You’re stealing material from Dane Cook.
    Why do your harmful and irrational beliefs deserve respect?
    Theists, especially christians, try to control and restrict us based on their views. If all christians stop crusading against science, education, culture, art, sex and sexuality, religious freedom and such, and stop telling everybody else they’re going to be tortured throughout eternity unless they join you, I assure you that you won’t encounter nearly as much hostility.
    Christians still kill kids for “witchcraft” today.http://www.channel4.com/news/articles/di…
    Let’s make a deal: You promise me that nobody ever gets hurt by your religion again, and I’ll never discuss it again.
    Read Letter to a Christian Nation if you want to understand how harmful your religion is. Go on, I dare you.
    In the meantime:http://gretachristina.typepad.com/greta_…http://www.abarnett.demon.co.uk/atheism/…http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Criticism_o…

  • Jul 31st 201023:07
    by Trish JPA and Jewish Pastafarian

    Old bad joke; wasn’t funny the first time; isn’t funny this time either. And besides, didn’t you crib it from somebody else???

  • Jul 31st 201023:07
    by Anon Ymous

    Lol… nice try…
    Why christians always trying to convert me? Why can’t they just leave me alone. I respect their beliefs! Why can’t they respect mine?!

  • Jul 31st 201023:07
    by Pulling Down Strongholds

    did you just watch vicious circle or something?

  • Jul 31st 201023:07
    by Dharma Nature

    And when they put your body in the ground you may well grow into a tree they cut down and use to reprint “The god delusion”. I know it’s stupid and petty of me to say that, but it is appropriate to the question I am answering.
    Unless of course you choose to have one of those environmentally unfriendly cremations.
    I’m not trying to convert you – I’m trying to show you that your religion makes no sense. Only you can choose what you do or don’t believe.

  • Jul 31st 201023:07
    by Eliot K

    There are many Christians who keep their religion private – they don’t expect the government to enforce their moral or support their religion.
    Thank you for being part of this group.
    However, many Christians support Proposition 8 (in California) and fight for public prayer.
    Please help us stop them.
    Thanks.

  • Aug 1st 201000:08
    by fountain

    Yawn, are you not smart enough to come up with your own tales?

  • Aug 1st 201000:08
    by Rick in the Santa hat

    I would say you stole that from Dane Cook, but chances are, he stole it from someone else too. I thought one of the commandments addressed theft…
    “I respect their beliefs! Why can’t they respect mine?!”
    Yeah, that’s a real good job you’re doing respecting people…

  • Aug 1st 201000:08
    by The Free Thinker - E.A.C.

    Persecution complex with an old joke.
    Please list your sources, so the joke doesn’t appear to be written by yourself, when that is not the case.
    It’s Dane Cook’s joke.
    Bearing false witness, are we?

  • Aug 1st 201000:08
    by Philipjf

    Hey guess what last christmas I heard some footsteps on my roof, I went up to see what it was, but whoever it was, had gone.The sound of sleigh bells followed them througout the night in the crisp winter air
    This proves that God exists, so what you must now do is follow God’s word and burn the dirty heathens house to the ground, and also punch his/her partner in their relevant genitalia.

  • Aug 1st 201001:08
    by Sayid

    I told him I wish they cut down that tree, and make the wood into paper. And then print the Bible on the paper.
    Why atheists always trying to convert me? Why can’t they just leave me along. I respect their beliefs! Why can’t they respect mine?!

  • Aug 1st 201001:08
    by Data M

    The same reason quite a large number of christians do not respect other beliefs..

  • Aug 1st 201001:08
    by Feathered Serpent

    Old joke is old.

  • Aug 1st 201001:08
    by James

    Yeah it really sounds as if you respect our beliefs.
    {sarcasm}

  • Aug 1st 201001:08
    by Seebob

    Atheists do not try and convert christians.
    They simply shoot down your beliefs in flames.
    It is up to you to decide if you will see the light.
    We have no threats of eternal damnation if you do not “cross over”

  • Aug 1st 201001:08
    by Super Atheist

    And this passes for a clever remark in your universe?

  • Aug 1st 201002:08
    by The Bald Satyr

    Yes, the Bible (and Christians) traditionally respects all beliefs, and all non-believers, right?
    At least you can take comfort in the fact that one day a non-believer will wipe their a$$ on pages of that Bible.
    Nature is recycling, no escaping.

  • Aug 1st 201002:08
    by Lucifer

    Probably because you wanted someone to destroy their eternal resting place and print the dogma of your religion of choice on it. It’s like an atheist saying that they want to pave over heaven and put a Richard Dawkins memorial over it.

  • Aug 1st 201002:08
    by Everard G

    “I told him I wish they cut down that tree, and make the wood into paper. And then print the Bible on the paper.”
    Do you have any idea what it’s called when you take someone elses idea and pass it off as your own?
    It’s called Plagarism.
    Why am I not surprised?
    Xianity stands in it.
    ~

  • Aug 1st 201002:08
    by odampull

    Friend, What the Atheist told you is a fact. All of us are going to be fertilizers. But your answer to him was just an anger. Why can’t an Atheist convert a believer? The believer is trying by all means to convert others. If the believer can say the untruth, non logic and unwanted things, why can’t an Atheist say Truth, Logic and Wanted things? An Atheist has no pre beliefs. He will question everything. They will respect you in person, but not your beliefs. That is for your improvement in thinking.

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